plz talk dirty to me
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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