I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
