We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
