Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
