3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
