it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
