I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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