I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
is it fun? or sober?
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