She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Never joke about your clitoris.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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