He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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