If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
