and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
oh god the rape fog is back!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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