Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
