I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
