wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
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