he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
