I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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