i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
birth control should be required to get into college
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
