i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
