i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
