Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
