I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There's always time for handjobs
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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