Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
