Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Sext me about skeletons
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
