Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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