Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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