this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
