Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
