my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
