Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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