please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
