I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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