well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
