Jerry, you need to find god
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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