i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
