I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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