Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
