Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
