i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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