Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Are we still banned from the library?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
