so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
