bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Randomize
