How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
