I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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