is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
