We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
