So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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