too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
