Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
