You can't motorboat a personality
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
