well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he fucked my hip out of place.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
