Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
