it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
