I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
